The feeling has been the same, maybe even worse, for this lonesome
sailor. The spring just passed and I really missed my Tet in my
Motherland. The meaning of country means so much to me more than ever.
The two words “Viet Nam” are always deep in my soul. I was living in the
new Motherland and serving her but I kept thinking about my people.
When May arrived, it was time for us to make the long deployment again. I
was all ready for the six-month Mediterranean cruise. If somebody had
asked me where I would want my ship to go for this coming long
deployment, I would say that I wished my ship would conduct its
exercises on the Pacific Ocean.
My reason was that the Vietnamese boat people were still escaping their
country at this time and these desperate boat people would need their
lives to be rescued in the southeast of the Pacific Ocean. If our battle
group was conducting the exercises in that part of the ocean, I might
get the chance to see the desperate and helpless Vietnamese boat people
rescued; and seeing my own people, who had risked their lives seeking
freedom—taking part in saving them from their tiny watercrafts—would be
indescribably amazing experience.
We arrived at the aircraft carrier in the second week of May, and the
ship was underway the next day. This was an emotional day for most of
the sailors because they were going to leave behind their families and
love ones for at least half of the calendar year. Before the ship left
port, sailors, in formal white uniforms, stood at-ease all around the
flight deck saying good-bye to families, friends and the land of our
beloved country.
As the ship started moving, the song “God Bless America” played on the
loudspeakers. It was a very touching moment for everyone, and I couldn’t
hold the tears in my eyes, although I had no family members on the port
for me to say good-bye.
The ship had been out to sea for a day, and the ship crew started to
welcome all of our heroic pilots from all the squadrons landed on the
carrier. Seeing those beautiful and mighty birds maneuver and put their
tail hooks down to catch the steel wires for landing was awesome. I kept
looking up, just to wonder where the birds of my squadron were. After
looking for a while, I thought I saw them. They were flying in a
formation just as they were demonstrating an air show. They looked so
beautiful, and I loved them.
I believed that all the pilots and all the jets had arrived on the ship.
Everything had been flawlessly executed. I was confident that we were
going to have a great cruise.
But bad news were already here. I was at my shop when I heard from the
loudspeakers that the ship’s captain announced a serious fire had broken
out in the engine room and claimed two lives. I was shocked. Silence
fell over the shop. I felt very sorry for those sailors who had
ultimately sacrificed their lives in the service for their country. I
bowed my head and paid them the utmost respect, praying for their souls
to be in Heaven with God. I couldn’t believe it was only our third day
at sea and an accident like this had happened. I prayed for the safety
of our cruise every day until the end of this deployment.
Coincidently with the tragedies of our ship, I saw the Navy Times
magazine lying on the desk in our shop. I picked up and read the issue.
There, I found another tragic event; a battleship in Iowa had exploded,
and forty-seven sailors had lost their lives. Among them was a
Vietnamese born petty officer third class, Fire Controlman Tung Thanh
Adams.
Oh my God! So many sailors died! I cried out loudly from my soul. I
couldn’t believe I’d received two tragic pieces of news in the same day.
I wanted to give my deepest sympathy from the bottom of my heart to
Tung’s adoptive father, Alvin Adams, and to the families of all the
other sailors who had sacrificed their lives.
I was already starting to feel the heat of the flight operations. We
worked very hard to keep our jets in the air. This was nothing new, as
this was how we’d worked during the NATO cruise. Whenever I had breaks, I
chose a very good spot on the balcony so I could look far beyond the
horizon. Many times I saw our battle group ships surrounding our
aircraft carrier. They all looked so great and mighty. I called this the
American super power; it was so great to see such strength of the
United States Navy.
We had been at sea for a few weeks now, and our first port visit was
scheduled. In fact, we would have port visits back to back for the next
four weeks. Our first port would be Benidorm, one of Spain’s beautiful
coastal cities. We would have six days of liberty here; a lot of time to
explore this gorgeous city.
The water and beaches in Benidorm were great and the people seemed very
nice and friendly. I also loved the food. It was different from what we
had in our chow hall.
Several days after Benidorm, we visited a beautiful island in Spain
called Palma. This huge island sat in the middle of the Balearic Sea.
Once again, we got to see new, beautiful places. Glorious architecture
made this city spectacular—too much to see it all. Besides sightseeing,
my next favorite thing to do was to enjoy Spanish food. I ate too much.
After several days in Palma, our ship pulled out and headed east to the
Mediterranean Sea. The flight operations resumed, and we got into to our
serious business. One day, I noticed that the flight operation had
stopped and our carrier had slowed down; I saw a cargo ship approaching
our ship. I realized that it was time for the ship to replenish the
ship’s supply. I was amazed of how well the operation was carried out.
Some days, there was not much activity and the work forces had been at
ease somewhat, especially the stress and pressure from those pilots who
had the most responsibilities. I always respected and admired them and
thanked them for their intelligence, dedication and their remarkable
service to their country. Every now and then, we had short working days,
and I saw our pilots walking around and relaxing. Many of them walked
on the flight deck catching fresh air and probably thinking about their
families and loved ones, whom they had been far apart far apart from for
a while now. We all had personal moments, and I wished peace would
always be with us all.
We would be making another port visit in a few days. This time we would
be visiting Izmir, Turkey. I had never thought that I would see Turkey. I
never knew how many adventures I was going to have when I was in the
Navy. Seeing the people and the country of Turkey, where the East met
the West would be so interesting.
When the ship arrived at the port of Izmir, I was eager to get off the
ship. There was so much history here and so many historic places that I
longed to see. I also saw statues and broken buildings of precious
stones that had been built many centuries ago. The Mother of Virgin
Mary’s house was also believed to be in this area. It was a lot to learn
from this country.
Liberty time was over, and our ship pulled out to sea. I noticed that no
flight operation in the next a few days because we were heading to the
Suez Canal. This was interesting news. I remembered that, when I was
only in fifth grade in a school in my village in Vietnam, I had first
learned about the Suez Canal during world history class. Today I was
going see the canal for myself. This was really unbelievable. I would
never have expected this in a million years.
The Suez Canal, located in Egypt, is over a hundred miles long. It
connects the Mediterranean Sea with the Gulf of Suez. The Suez Canal was
completed and opened in 1869. The construction of the canal took ten
years. It had become the most popular man-made canal in the world. As
the ship slipped through the narrow vein of water, I could see the sands
that stretched to the horizon. I saw the Egyptians, who were standing
close by the canal, waving at us. In the meantime, on the flight deck,
our crewmembers took this rare opportunity to convert the flight deck
into a big gym. Sailors started to run, walk, or lift weights. It was
definitely an interesting and fun event for me.
Yesterday, we had been in the Mediterranean Sea, and today, we were in
the Arabian Sea. After a day of Suez Canal transit, we were now
conducting exercises with the Saudi Arabian forces. The flight
operations resumed, and we were getting busy. However, my squadron had
temporarily assigned me a special duty when some departments of the ship
didn’t have enough personnel. I was sent to office of the
master-at-arms to be a part of the team charged with keeping peace and
order inside our ship. This would be totally a different task. My job
was to patrol a certain section of the ship and get involved in, solve,
and report any violence or disorderly conduct of any sailor to a higher
authority. I took the new order as a new challenge for me.
Things were going smoothly so far. The month of July was almost here,
and the birthday of the United States of America was coming. This would
be my first time celebrating the biggest national holiday on the ship
that carried the country’s name. We were going to glorify the birthday
of America two days shy of the actual date because of the busy operation
schedules.
On the morning of July 2, 1989, one of my favorite songs, “America the
Beautiful” poured from the loudspeakers I stood on the balcony in the
middle of the high sea under a beautiful sky and listened to every word
of the song and every note of the music:
O Beautiful for spacious skies…
America, America, God shed his grace on thee.
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea.”
America, America—it was my home—the home of the free.
The noise started to get louder and the flight deck had soon transformed
into a huge outdoor picnic. We called this Steel Beach BBQ. My friends
and I stood in line for hot, juicy real American hamburgers and hot
dogs.
Sharing America’s Birthday cake.
At the end of the day, our celebration of the birthday of the nation
came to an end; glorifying the holiday like this had boosted the morale
and spirit of our sailors. I loved this country more than ever. I was
very thankful to live in freedom and democracy. Nothing was more
precious than that.
I patrolled the ship as it was underway for flight operations. I worked a
shorter hour schedule at the master-at-arms office, so I had more time
to go to the gym. I was in better shape than before. Through a
combination of good food and exercise, I had gained some muscle mass,
and I felt stronger and healthier. I was very happy and proud of myself.
One early morning, I heard a lot of noise, and my shipmates were running
up to the flight deck. I got out of my rack and asked my teammate what
were going on. He told me it was the Cross the Line initiation. I had no
idea what that was or why someone had to go through that. Nobody had
the chance to explain, but one of my teammates told me that if I didn’t
want to go, I should just stay in my rack.
I certainly didn’t want to stay in my rack because my ego and curiosity
were bigger than that. I followed the others up to the deck; I wanted to
be part of it even though I had no clue what was happening and why.
When I approached the flight deck, people started calling me pollywog,
and they called themselves the trusty shellback or the sons of Neptune.
They made me crawl on the flight deck to the places of the initiation.
Messy food and nasty liquids in different kinds were everywhere. All
forms of making fun of the Pollywogs who were the first time crossed the
line. I realized that this was just another Navy tradition—whenever
the ship was crossing the equator, a ceremony was held to initiate new
sailors and make them tougher and fully, 100 percent sailor proof.
Seeing my fellow sailors in weird costumes and makeup was very funny.
All the shellbacks were having too much fun to make the pollywogs
suffer. It was very tough, and that was the name of the game. This was
my second initiation, so I was fully aware what I needed to do to become
tougher and get through this. My group and I finally got the
declaration from the king of Neptune. “I do hereby command all hands to
honor and respect him as a trusty shellback.” I did it, and I was tough.
Things were getting back to normal quickly. I had now completed my
temporary duty as a master-at-arms, and returned to my squadron. I was
glad because I had been missing the works on my airplanes.
The ship was now in the Indian Ocean and conducting heavy flight
operations. Whenever I could, I went to the newsroom to check out some
Navy magazines, so that I could keep up with what was going on in the
Navy. Indeed, I caught some interesting news that made me really
excited. An article in All Hands Magazines reported that the USS
Oldendorf had rescued thirty-five Vietnamese boat people from their tiny
vessel in the Gulf of Thailand. Involved in the rescue was a Vietnamese
sailor, Khoi Thanh Nguyen, who was stationed on Oldendorf. Khoi, who
was once a refugee and had been rescued by the US Navy in 1975 after the
Fall of Saigon. Khoi was able to immediately connect with the refugees
and help them in the rescue process. I felt great and so happy that
God had blessed the people who had just been saved. I wished I could
have the same opportunity like Khoi. That would be the greatest feeling;
but my ship was now in the Indian Ocean; there was no way any refugee
boat would be drifting this way.
After reading that article, images of desperate, helpless faces of the
boat people I had known – had been one of – played often in my mind. I
remembered my own rescue and thanked God again for our angel, the Cap
Anamur. I knew that those people had truly been willing to make the
ultimate sacrifice for freedom and dignity.
Our ship was moved at a steady pace, and the flight operations got
heavier in the Indian Ocean. My teammates and I were busy maintaining
our airplanes. We sometimes cracked jokes and made fun of each other
just to make our work more pleasurable.
One day, a teammate told me that he couldn’t wait for the Singapore port
visit. I was stunned. I asked him to repeat himself. “Are you sure we
are going to Singapore?”
He said yes, noting that he’d seen the new schedule. I immediately ran
to the shop and asked my supervisor, just to confirm that it was true.
It was true, indeed. Our ship was going to hit Singapore port in just a
few more days. I was extremely happy and excited, not because I wanted
to see Singapore but because I thought our ship might have the chance to
rescue the Vietnamese boat people in the South China Sea in the Pacific
Ocean—the waters near Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, and the
Philippines.
I started counting the days until our ship would head to Singapore. I
also wanted to know when our ship would be in the Pacific Ocean. By
looking at the schedule, I figured that, in one more day, my ship would
be out of the Indian Ocean and in the Pacific Ocean.
I continued to read a lot of news in the Navy magazines. I kept
searching for news of any more boat people being rescued. Surprisingly, I
read another good bit of news about the refugees. This news came from
the Transitions Navy Magazine under Refugees Rescued at Sea. A frigate,
the USS Kirk (FF-1087) had spotted a refugee boat with nine people on
board in the South China Sea. The boat people were surprised when, from
the Navy ship, someone spoke down to them in their native language. Wow!
How could that be? They were astonished to learn that, on the frigate
Kirk, there was a former Vietnamese refugee just turned US sailor
several months earlier. Fireman Apprentice Long T. Huynh had escaped
from Vietnam nine years earlier and, interestingly, had been rescued by
the US Navy. After graduating from high school in San Diego, Long had
joined US Navy and been stationed on the frigate Kirk. How cool was
that!
I was very happy for those nine boat people. Their lives had been saved,
and now they had their freedom in their hands. I was also very happy
for Long who had had the opportunity to save his own people. I wanted to
congratulate him. From my own aircraft carrier, I prayed that God would
give me the same opportunity to save my own poor people.
My teammate and I went up to the flight deck to work on a minor problem
on one of our Hornets. Walking on the flight deck during operations was
extremely dangerous. I had to walk around the A-6s (attack jets) that
already had their engines running. I passed in front of their intakes,
and even though I wasn’t too close, I felt the power as the intakes
sucked in air, pulled by the powerful force, I almost lost my balance. A
shipmate who was nearby reached out his hand and pulled me back. He may
have saved me from being swallowed into the intake of the A-6. If that
had happened, my entire body would have become burger meat. I thanked
him for watching out for his shipmate, and I promised him I would be
extremely careful around the areas.
While we were fixing the minor problem on the Hornet, I watched the
other Hornets being launched. There was nothing cooler than to see the
catapult shooting the jet into the air.
One next day I arose very early the next morning. I didn’t know how far
we were from Singapore, but I knew for sure that we were in the Pacific
Ocean now. I put on my working uniform and walked toward my shop. First,
I stood on a balcony and looked down to the water. I wondered if today
would be the day I might see a refugee boat.
I couldn’t stand on the balcony for long. I needed to go to my shop
before I was late for work. When I arrived at the shop, I started
working just like any other normal working day. However, Every couple
of hours, I took a break and went to the balcony to look down at the
water below me and far beyond. I prayed to God - if any refugee boats
were in the area, please let us rescue them before they die.
I then thought of my girlfriend. She had told me that she was going to
escape, but I had never heard anything from her. Could today be the day I
might see? Could hers be the boat we rescued? I shook my head. It was
impossible.
Even so, I still wanted to see that dream to come true. Oh my God! How
wonderful that would be. I still missed her. I still thought of our time
together and I remembered every time we dated. The love I gave to her
was natural, and my love for my first love came from deep within me. I
opened my wallet and took out the little picture of her face that she
gave to me at a time when we were deeply in love. I had it with me at
all time lately. I asked myself whether there was any chance that my
ship would rescue her boat on our way to Singapore. Once again, I shook
my head and pushed all of those feelings away. I didn’t want to raise
hope in myself and feel the disappointment and pain in my heart and soul
if that didn’t happen. I needed to stop thinking and get back to my
shop.
I looked down to the water several times throughout the day. I still saw
nothing but dark blue ocean. I figured I was setting myself up for
disappointment, but I didn’t give up yet. Our ship would still be in
this part of the ocean for several days.
It was a long day at work, and my energy ran completely out. I was exhausted. I needed to hit my rack badly
After taking a shower, I crawled onto my bed and lay down with my
comfortable pillow. My body and mind were out before I even realized it.
But, somehow, I thought I saw a very bad storm with very dark clouds
coming. The face of the ocean turned violent, and one big wave came
after another. Through the frightening scene, I spotted a tiny refugee
vessel crowded with children. Oh my God! I screamed out to the captain
of our ship, begging him to rescue the people before the boat capsized.
Suddenly, among the refugees in the boat, I saw my girlfriend. She stood
up, called my name, and extended her hand out, asking for my help.
“Please wait,” I called. “I’m coming to rescue you.”
Then from out of nowhere, a huge wave came and slammed over her boat, creating a terrifying noise.
I sat up quickly, hitting my head very hard against the rack above in
the tight space. My shipmate explained that he’d knocked on my rack
loudly to wake me up because he’d heard me mumbling so much in my sleep.
He checked on me and wondered if I was okay.
My eyes now were opened, but I was breathing very heavily. After a few
minutes, I felt okay. I told my shipmate I was all right; it was just a
very bad dream. I thanked him for checking on me and wished him a good
night of sleep.
Back at work the next day, the horrible dream remained with me vividly. I
wanted to share my dream with my teammates, but on second thought, I
didn’t. I was afraid they might make fun of me. I decided to keep it to
myself. I tried to focus on my work normally. However, I continued to
run back and forth to the balcony to look down at the water. The ship
now was very close to Singapore. Tomorrow we were going to hit the port
of this beautiful city; but my mind was not on the liberty call at this
time.
We arrived in Singapore. I saw so many ships floating on this huge area
of the blue water making a beautiful scene. Our ship was anchored in
the middle of the water and we had to take a ferryboat to go to shore.
Singapore was a beautiful and interesting port, and my friends couldn’t
stop talking about this port visit. They all were looking forward to
have the best time in this sensational city.
Although my mind wasn’t ready for this liberty call, I got to see this
Lion City. I had never been here before, but a lot of Vietnamese boat
people had escaped to this country and stayed here for a while before
settling in their third country. I wanted to go and see the Vietnamese
refugee camp that I knew was somewhere in this country. I asked some of
the local people, and no one knew where it was.
Singapore was a very clean and beautiful city. I went to a huge outdoor
market. Everything looked similar to the market in Saigon. I bought a
lot of tropical fruits because these fruits were the same fruits in
Vietnam and I certainly missed eating them.. It was time for me to enjoy
these fruits. I asked my friends to share with me and they also loved
them.
Suddenly, our ship had an order to pull out early due to an emergency
situation arising from the Desert Storm Operation of the Persian War.
The captain had cancelled the remaining days of the liberty calls and
ordered all hands back to their stations. I had intended to make a
better effort and find the Vietnamese refugee center, but since we
pulled out early, I had to miss my chance. It was okay; when I heard of
the emergency situation, I thought of my ship, and my country came
first. I was happy to return to my ship.
My ship started heading out of the Pacific Ocean. I still watched the
water, searching and scouting for any refugees boats, but I saw nothing.
It was time to move on, and I wanted to get my mind settled so I could
focus on my important work in my shop. Our ship was rushing to the
Persian Gulf areas for a great cause.
The flight operations were so heavy that we were working very long days
and nights. We were in this area for a few weeks and working
intensively.
During one lunch break, I was reading a Navy Times magazine. I saw more
good news for the Vietnamese refugees. The USS Dubuque had just rescued
thirty boat people on a very small watercraft. The ship’s captain had
decided to launch the rescue because he realized that the refugees’
vessel was not seaworthy and overloaded with a lot of refugees on board.
The tiny watercraft was spotted four hundred nautical miles from
Singapore on August 13. Wow! My ship had been in the area about ten days
ago. I told myself that I might have seen that refugee boat.
After several intense weeks of flight operations in the Persian Gulf, we
headed back to the Gulf of Suez, transiting through the Suez Canal to
the Mediterranean Sea. We would soon make another port visit, this one
in Toulon, France. I was sure that everyone needed a break this time.
We arrived in Toulon during the second week of September. We would spend
five days here for liberty calls. Toulon was another beautiful city,
with gorgeous long beaches. I had a chance to catch a bus to another
beautiful nearby city, Nice. What stunning views I found there; I had
never seen the beach like this before. There was no sand, but the beach
was covered with pretty stones or gravel. I was glad I had my camera
with me.
The very nice break came to an end, and we got back to the waters and
resumed our operations. Thus far, we had been deployed for about four
months. The routines had become very familiar, but most of the sailors
were missing their loved ones very much. One of my teammates told me
that he couldn’t wait to return home to see his girlfriend. I told him
that I very much understood his situation and asked him to just hang in
there; we were coming to the last part of the cruise, and we would be
home before we knew it.
He asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I told him that I didn’t but that
I had been looking for one all over the Pacific Ocean when our ship had
been approaching Singapore. He didn’t seem to understand, so I had to
tell him a little more about what had happened to me and to my first
love. I even told him that I still loved her and dreamed about her. I
also told him about the nightmare I’d had. He was the one who had
checked on me that night.
His eyes grew wide as I quickly summarized my love story. “Wow!” he
replied. He told me he couldn’t believe how much I had gone through.
After the conversation, we understood each other a little more. We shook
hands, and I thanked him for listening. Then we got back to work.
I kept collecting and reading news from the Navy magazines. In The
Airwinger Navy News, I read about a guided missile cruiser, the USS
Vincennes, which had just rescued twenty-six boat people in the South
China Sea last week. I couldn’t believe that this tiny vessel had been
floating in the high seas for fifteen days with barely any food or water
during the last days of drifting and nobody had died. This was
unbelievable news for the Vietnamese refugee community.
After many long years since the Fall of Saigon, the people of South
Vietnam were still fleeing from the Communist regime in search of
freedom and democracy. These stories were proof that the dictatorship
and brutality were far beyond what the innocent people of Vietnam should
or would endure. So many people were willing to die if they could not
live free. These boat people knew their simple watercrafts were not
seaworthy, but they took the huge risk. Tragically, only a fraction of
these people made it to freedom.
October was here, and the end of our six-month cruise was nearing. But
we continued to work tirelessly. My favorite thing to do on the aircraft
carrier whenever I had a break was to enjoy the excitement of the
launchings and landings of the fighter jets. I hoped that, some day, I
would be the one sitting in the cockpit and flying one of these powerful
jets. That was still my dream, and even though I knew making it come
true would be a very long road, I hoped I could continue to keep my
dream alive.
We would be hitting another French port, Monaco, in a few days. We
arrived at the port on a beautiful, sunny morning. This famous French
city had one of the most attractive coastlines, along with imperial
architecture—magnificent buildings, museums, and hotels. Things were
very pricey here, so every sailor’s wallet would be empty by the time we
left, especially we were going to stay here for several days.
After having plenty of fun and rest for several days in Monaco, we would
pull out to sea again. Surprisingly, we would be revisiting Palma,
Spain, the very next day. In my understanding, this second stop was, in
part, to replenish the ship’s supplies. After relaxing for a few more
days, we pulled out to sea and headed westward.
We were soon moving back to sea, and I believed we had done all the port
visits for the deployment. November was just around the corner, and the
day to go home was near. We didn’t have a lot of flight operations
anymore, but every now and then, I saw a few. We took it easy, biding
our time until we came back home. Many of the sailors couldn’t wait to
see their families and friends. I knew they were counting down the days.
I could see so much happiness coming to all of the sailors and their
families at the end of the cruise. I was very happy for them; their
families and loved ones would be together again, and I wished that they
would all enjoy every single moment of the homecoming and the reunions
with their families.
When we were almost home - only half a day away from Norfolk homeport.
All of our airplanes had flown off the ship and the atmosphere was
totally different now. Everyone was anxiously waiting to come home.
Music played over the loudspeakers. One of the songs I liked most was
“Coming to America” by Neil Diamond. That’s right. It’s time to come to
America, the country I loved and adored.
I could see the city of Norfolk on the horizon. It was the second week
of November. The sailors who were stationed on the ship were standing
all around the flight deck in formal blue uniforms. They looked
awesome. I wished I could stand there with them and look down at the
spectators at the port- showing a great feeling of pride for a job well
done. The ship was very close to the port now, and it was moving very
slowly. I could see the huge crowd. I even saw a huge welcome home sign
from a distance. I couldn’t imagine how much love and support the
sailors had from their families and friends. It would be so wonderful to
see loved ones waiting on the port when the ship returned after such a
long deployment.
As we walked off the ship, the crowd grew even larger. All the people
surrounding me were kissing, hugging, laughing, crying, talking,
smiling, and yelling. In this crowd, I could see the greatest happiness
that I had ever seen in my life. I was truly happy for my shipmates. By
not expecting anyone, I carried my heavy sea-bag and walked myself to
the bus.
I got onto the bus along with a few of my teammates. The bus would be
here for a while before taking off to the airport. As I sat on the bus
and watched the crowd, I wished my family, especially my parents, were
here. Anytime there was an event like this, I missed my parents deeply
in my heart and soul. I hadn’t heard anything from them lately. I
wondered how they were doing. They were getting older every day, and my
soul cried when I thought about not having seen them for so many years.
